Merry Christmas

This year was an interesting christmas. Normally I love this time of year. The traditions and excitment. But we all kind of lost sight of it this year. It turned into enduring rather than celebrating. It makes me a little sick to think about it. The fighting with the kids, between the kids, the crankiness and that we didn't do anything for anyone else (like secret santa or 12 days of christmas, we only even did 4 plates of goodies and 1 is still on my counter). Its rather shameful. I spole in church on the true spirit of Christmas and I feel like a big hypocrite. I tried, really I did, but I just couldn't seem to maintain it. Brig and I were talking and I think we've identified what happened. hopefully you can all learn from our mistakes.

1. school got out and we got off the scedule
2. Family prayer and scripture study - the evening one's got done (its pretty engrained) but the morning one didn't. I think that once you raise the bar doing it twice, you really do "fall" farther. It's obvious when you miss when reading once a day, but reading twice and missing once is bad, and I'm sure we missed a few days completely. I think this was on of the biggest factors.
3. exersize! That morning work out just sets me up for the day and makes me into a different person. I HAVE to get back to it. December was rough there with the rain and colds (weather and sickness), but I need to do it, for everyone's sack.
4. SLEEP!!!! I was up late working on gifts, the kids would stay up late, and nap time was really war time! WE ALL NEEDED MORE SLEEPING!! (YLfe I don't know if I ever thanked you for that sleep book, but its true - thanks)
5. Service- like I said we didn't do anything for anyone else it just made the whole thing about us - what we were getting, what we were making, what we wanted, how we were feeling. It was pathetic.
6. Overdid it. It was all about the gifts and santa. The threats were "santa won't come if you don't...." "I'll take the gifts away..." We unconsciencely placed the emphasis on the gifts, and then overdid it. We did more shopping and less making. Mainly because I didn't start in time and because we just did. Let's admit it shopping for your kids is fun and exciting thinking of how they love your gifts and so on. But a few Great and special gifts are way better.
7. traditions- we didn't do the candle in the forest (forgive me tess) we didn't do the christmas pie (forgive me mom) we didn't do the goodies, the secret service all the things that normally help point us in the right direction.
8. Focus- The real christmas is about Christ! We barely talked about it. We didn't watch Joy to the World, we didn't even read the nativity story until saturday night. like I listed above- it was mostly about santa and the gifts. Not much more I can say there.

Thats about what it all boils down to. In fact I canceled Christmas on Friday night. I'd just plain had it! I'm ashamed cause it all starts with me. I should have been the one keeping everything together (not just my temper but all the things listed above), they were probably just reacting to me and my lead. Oh well. I left and went for a drive and listened to the october conference talk by Dallin H Oakes - love and law. It was just the answer we needed. So after listening to it twice. I ordered a pizza from Sparky's (no beef steak pie sorry bairds) and went home. We ate while we listened to his talk and discussed it pausing frequently to define and apply his teachings. It went very well. Of course it ended in a talk about repentence and what it means. Of course we gave them the chance to repent. So they all finally went to sleep, or at least a passing imitation. Then about 2 hours later we woke them up to go to brig's work where we would have christmas since he was working and there was no way I would be able to keep the kids in their rooms till he got home. I will say I missed the tree and decorations. The kids amazingly didn't sleep in the car - they were busy looking for snow and santa outside. Then we had to go to sleep before santa could come. finally at 2 am they crashed except figgy and at 4:30 santa came and about 5am we woke the kids. It was fun but lacking for obvious reasons. It was a good christmas though, I'm not trying to be negative, there's just a difference when the focus is off, you know what I mean. The extra space for the choas of sugar high and excitment was nice though. All the screaming and running is better when not in such close quarters. Then we had to get them back to sleep before going home at 8:30am. That finally happened at about 6/6:30. But breakfast was fun with all the family (pedersons, grandma and grandpa baird and great grandma and Melissa). I got to take a nap too. Which was great. Brig just ate and then went home to sleep. Later that night we went home, bathed for the next day (and got frustrated and cranky all over again) and then finally read the nativity story. Oh well. As brig told me this afternoon - I can start over, every minute, every day. There's always a chance to make things better. So as I continue to change how I'm doing things and not quite succed, I'm going to keep trying! I hope you're christmas was wonderful and not quite the "learning experience" it was for us. If not then you are not alone and we'll try again next year - hopefully with a knowledge of how to do better. We love you all. And Thank the Lord for His Son, and the hope of repentence he gives to us all.