brig's talk

It was Brig's turn to talk in church today. So here it is too.
Fidelity: More than you think

The proclamation to the world on family states: “children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor martial vows with complete fidelity.” I would like to speak today about this last part of honoring vows or covenants with complete fidelity, and I pray that the spirit will be with me as a speaker and all of us as learners that we may learn how to better keep our covenants. Fidelity as defined by Webster’s dictionary is: “1. the quality or state of being faithful 2. Accuracy in detail: Exactness” some synonyms are Allegiance, Fealty, Loyalty, Devotion, Piety. Fealty implies a fidelity acknowledged by the individual and as compelling as a sworn vow. Loyalty implies a faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray. Piety stresses fidelity to obligations regarded as natural and fundamental.
When the word fidelity comes up in our conversations and interactions in today’s society most people think first of fidelity in marriage, or in other words being faithful physically to ones spouse, and while that is a natural part of the marriage relationship it is not all. There are 3 different forms of fidelity and I believe that they apply to us all not just those of us who are married. The First is Physical Fidelity.
Physical Fidelity is, like I just stated, the one that most all of us think of, which are keeping sexual relations within marriage between a man and a woman, or in other words “thou shalt not commit adultery.” The lord expanded this when he said “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” We must as the lord has counseled through his later day prophets avoid pornography of any kind. We have been warned by both past and present prophets to avoid it like the plague because it will destroy you spiritually just the same. The second form of Fidelity is: Emotional fidelity.
To grasp the essence of what emotional fidelity is I relate this story that is found in an article on fidelity in the September 2009 ensign. “But I’m not doing anything wrong” insisted Jane when family members voiced concern over the time she was spending with a male co-worker. “We’re just friends.” In Jane’s mind, she had not crossed any lines because there had been nothing physical or romantic between her and her co-worker. She saw no harm in going to lunch and spending breaks with someone with whom she had so much in common. She saw no problem with sending him personal emails and text messages. Jane’s husband, Aaron, was quiet and shy. He was not one to make conversation, and Jane often felt alone-even when they were together. Aaron was a good man and a faithful father to their young children. Still, when it came to being sensitive to her needs and “being there for her,” she felt Aaron had a lot to learn. Jane’s co-worker, on the other hand, was a good listener and could easily read her moods. He was quick to laugh, and fun to be around. As the two of them spent more time together, family members whom Jane had casually mentioned the relationship began to express concern. Jane dismissed their comments. What Jane didn’t realize was how hurt and upset Aaron felt as what she was doing. He felt betrayed and rejected and was even beginning to worry that Jane didn’t love him anymore. Jane talked as though their marriage was strong but, by her actions, she seemed to care more about her co-worker than her husband. Aaron began to wonder if she was going thinking of leaving him. Any time Aaron brought up the subject of her relationship with the co-worker, she would refuse to discuss it and would change the subject. To Aaron, their communication seemed superficial. He felt as though his feelings were not important to her.”
This story could be any number for true stories around the world today. It can happen to either husband or wife, and it doesn’t have to be a friend it could also be a family member, a brother, a sister, or parent. Not that talking to family members is a bad thing but if you are turning to them instead of your spouse that it can stunt you relationship and hinder the growth of you marriage. Here are some questions to ask ourselves to make sure that haven’t started to erode our emotional fidelity some of these question will be more geared towards the friendship relationship. 1. Are you turning to your friend or family member for comfort rather than turning to your spouse? 2. Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even when you’re ay home? 3. Do you seek opportunities to be with your friend even when work doesn’t require you to be together? 4. Do you email and text your friend when you’re not together? 5. Have you told your spouse about these messages? 6. Does the relationship with your friend or family member take more of your time and energy than your relationship with your spouse? 7. Do you compare your spouse to your friend? 8. Would be comfortable introducing your spouse to your friend? These questions, if answered honestly, can help us take a deeper look into your actions and help us avoid damaging situations to the ones we love the most namely our spouses and children. When I got married someone gave me a great piece of advice. They said, “Now you can have all the friends you what that are men but you will only have one that is a woman and that is your wife. You can still be friendly to other women but don’t become their friend.” The last for of fidelity is Spiritual fidelity.
Spiritual fidelity is something that all of us can practice and develop. Even those who have not made covenants can start to live, today, by those laws to which they will covenant in the future. The first covenant that we make is that of Baptism. The sacrament prayer helps us understand the points of this covenant.
D&C 20:77 – “O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it, that they mat eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them; that they may always have his spirit to be with them.” In the Book of Mormon we find how we can always remember him, and keep his commandments. In Mosiah 18: 8 – 10 “8…and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; 9. Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort t those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in. even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye mat have eternal life- 10. Now I say unto you, if this is the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments…” In the May 1985 Ensign Elder Dalin H. Oaks expressed this about partaking the sacrament and renewing our baptismal covenants, “…we do not witness that we take upon us the name of Jesus Christ. [Rather], we witness that we are willing to do so. The fact that we only witness to our willingness suggests that something else must happen before we actually take that sacred name upon us in the [ultimate and] most important sense.” Elder Bednar in the conference last April added to that statement, “The baptismal covenant clearly contemplates a future event or events and looks forward to the temple.” The next groups of covenants that young men and men make are those of the priesthood.
There are 4 parts to our side of the covenant men the first is we will receive the priesthood in Good faith D&C 84:35, 37 – 38 35. All they who receive this priesthood receive me, saith the Lord; 37. And he that recieveth me recieveth my Father; An he that recieveth my Father receiveth my Father’s Kingdom.” We receive the Priesthood of God by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority and we must have faith in the source of that power and authority and we must believe that we are receiving the authority of God and by so doing we receive the priesthood in good faith.
The second part our party of the covenant is that we will magnify our callings. Marion G. Romney in the April conference 1962 said, “Ordination to the priesthood is a prerequisite to receiving [blessings], but it does not guarantee them. For a man actually to obtain them, he must faithfully discharge the obligation which is placed upon him when he receives the priesthood.” We magnify for calling by 1) learning our duty and executing it fully (D&C 107:99 – 100) 99.Where fore, now let every man learn his duty, and to act in the office in which he is appointed, in all diligence. 100. he that is slothful shall not be counted worthy to stand, and he that learns not his duty and shows himself not approved shall not be worthy to stand. Even so. Amen. 2) By giving our best effort in assigned fields of labor. Only our best effort is good enough for he that has redeemed us. 3) By consecrating one’s time, talents, and means to the Lord’s work as called upon by our leaders and the whisperings of the spirit. This was the essence of Spencer W. Kimball’s article printed in the March 1985 ensign entitled “Becoming the Pure in Heart” 4) By Teaching and exemplifying truth. (Jacob 1:19) And we did magnify our office unto the Lord, taking upon us the responsibility, answering the sins of the people upon our own heads if we did not teach them the word of God with all diligence; wherefore, by laboring with our might their blood might not come upon our garments; otherwise their blood would come upon our garments, and we would not be found spotless at the last day. The third covenant that we make is to obey the commandments.
In a talk that was given in the October 1985 conference Elder Carlos E. Asay said, “No commandment or requirement of the gospel is nonessential. Each has its place, and all are to be respected. Not one is to be trifled with or placed aside as inconvenient. A person who chooses to obey one commandment and ignore others is as foolish as a driver who adheres strictly to the posted speed limit but runs every stop sign and flaunts other rules of the road.
Live by every word of God is the forth covenant that one our side of the oath and covenant of the priesthood. “For you shall live by every word tat proceedeth forth from the mouth of God.” We are counseled to live by the spirit, or live the law of the gospel. This means that as we received impression and prompting from the Holy Ghost on things that we ought to do or people we ought to help, these prompting become commandments unto us and therefore we have the same responsibility to obey them as we obey other commandments.
“There is a law irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world upon which all blessing are predicated – And when we obtain any blessing it is by obedience to that law on which is predicated.” (D&C 130:20 – 21)This is one of those times that God is very plain about blessings and laws. “For whoso ever is faithful unto the obtaining of these two priesthoods of which I have spoken [Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood], and the magnifying their calling, are sanctified by the spirit unto the renewing and sanctification of their bodies.” (D&C 88:33) Isn’t it interesting that the blessings of renewal and sanctification are directly linked to the first two covenant principle of the priesthood? And isn’t it also interesting as we look at the prophets and apostles and see them magnify their callings and offices we marvel at their energy and ability to do the work in bodies that should be more of a hindrance than they are?
Elder Carlos E. Asay said “It is said of those who receive the holy priesthood and remain true to their covenants, “They become the sons of Moses and of Aaron and the seed of Abraham, and the church and kingdom, and the elect of God.” (D&C 84:34) We do not become saints automatically by entering the waters of baptism. We become saints, in the true sense of the word, as we live saintly lives and cultivate Christ-like attributes. Similarly, we do not become the elect of God instantaneously by receiving the priesthood. Such honor will come only so fast as we remember and perform according to the priesthood covenant.” Naturally this blessing will come to those who keep the commandments because the elect of God will use their agency to return their will to God.
He has promised in D&C 84:38 we will be given all that the Father hath. In short Terms he has promised us eternal life, exaltation, and eternal increase, or in other word we will be just like him.
The next groups of covenants, that we make, are in the holy Temples of God. Some of these covenants are so sacred we do not talk of them out side of the Temple but that the Laws that we promise to obey are found in the scriptures. The first of these is the Law of Obedience.
The law of obedience is doing anything that Christ would have us do. “In the Sao Paulo south mission there was an Elder Malheiros who entered in to the field not being able to read or write very proficiently. He was even a little fearful of giving a prayer in public. But this young man … became one of the greatest missionaries imaginable. [His mission] president asked him toward the end of his mission how he had turned into such a dynamic missionary. (He had baptized more than two hundred people and had baptized every week for fifty-two consecutive weeks.) In a very humble manner Elder Malheiros Answered, “Well, president, I never doubted you. You said one could baptize every week, so I knew I could baptize every week. I never doubted. It was not always easy, but I tried to obey.” “And it came to pass that I, Nephi said unto my father: I will go and do the things that the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” (1 Nephi 3:7) This has become one of my favorite scripture because it shows us be the consequence of living the law of obedience. We will have the help of the Lord as Nephi and Elder Malheiros.
The second law is the law of sacrifice. This law consists of the giving up of the things of this world for a better one. This is done by our humbling ourselves and placing our sins on the altar of sacrifice. We believe that the first principle and ordinances of the gospel are: First, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second repentance; third, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost. (Fourth Article of Faith) First we have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ that he will do what he said, which is forgive our sins and remember them no more. If we have faith we will be humble and we must be humble before we sacrifice our sins on the altar of repentance. Then true repentance can take place by our figuratively walking with the Lord in the garden of Gethsemane. As we do this we will more fully understand the pains that that we caused him there. As we do this our relationship will grow and develop with our savior and he will become he will become our friend. Some people think of repentance as a horrible thing because it is an unpleasant experience. Repentance is not a punishment, but a gift. We have the opportunity to rely and the Lord and his grace. One of the greatest blessings that we receive through living this law is, a testimony that the life that we are living is pleasing unto God. The Lord will also remember our sins no more after we have used his atonement through the repentance process.
The Law of Chastity is embodied in the physical fidelity as we covered previously.
When we obey the law of the gospel we live by the spirit, in other we word when he directs we obey. By doing this we will enjoy the constant presence of the Holy Ghost. As we have his constant guidance our lives will be sanctified then we will, as the people of King Benjamin, “…lose the Disposition to do evil and live after the manner of happiness.”
The law of consecration consists of using our time, talents, energies, and all that the Lord has blessed us with, or with which he may bless us with to the building up of the kingdom of God and the establishment of Zion. Therefore we bring to pass heavenly purposes with the resources the lord provides. One of the most effective ways that we do this is by building of homes unto God. Strong families are the building blocks of His kingdom. Families are created when a man and woman are lawfully wed, and the purpose of families to bring spirit sons and daughters of God to this world. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”
It is my belief that as we focus keeping spiritually fidelity to the covenants that we have made and by so doings we will be able better to understand and keep physical commandments. “Wherefore, verily I say unto you that all things unto me are spiritual, and not at any time have I given unto you a law which was temporal…” TESTIMONY.